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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24584353">loose lips</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/typhlosionfx/pseuds/romanticplanet'>romanticplanet (typhlosionfx)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shall We Date?: Obey Me!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Multi, Other, Reader-Insert, drunk lucifer, gender neutral reader, implied threesome at the end bc i can, while the focus is on luci/reader there are other pairings mentioned</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 05:41:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,868</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24584353</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/typhlosionfx/pseuds/romanticplanet</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucifer's birthday party went about as well as you'd think it would go when you leave Diavolo in charge for a little less than half an hour.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lucifer (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Lucifer/Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>138</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>loose lips</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>me: in the middle of writing something for beel<br/>lucifer: has his birthday event<br/>me:<br/>me: 👁👄👁</p>
<p>so yeah, i dropped everything to write something to celebrate lol<br/>happy birthday luci, u handsome boi<br/>gender neutral reader this time yee</p>
<p>a reminder to donate time/money if you can - https://forjusticeforpeace.carrd.co/</p>
<p>hope y'all enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>You’d left them alone for twenty five minutes. Twenty five </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking</span>
  </em>
  <span> minutes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You’d clearly trusted Diavolo far too much when he had said he’d watch over Lucifer’s birthday party while you ran to pick up the cake from Ristorante Six. He’d smiled when you asked, waving aside your concerns with a brush of his hand.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Haha, don’t worry so much Y/n! We’re all grown demons here, we can handle a few minutes by ourselves!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You knew he’d been very wrong when you’d stepped back into the House of Lamentation to screaming, the entryway’s chandelier shattered on the floor, and the scent of smoke.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You gaped as Mammon ran towards you shrieking, holding what you recognized as Levi’s new game console, while Levi, in full on demon mode, chased after him, cursing and threatening dismemberment in some… truly creative ways. Mammon skidded to a halt, putting you between himself and a clearly extremely pissed off Levi.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’ mean ta break it! I jus’ wanted ta see how much it’s worth!” Mammon yelled using one hand to hold your shoulder, and the other cradling the device that you now saw had a glaring crack down the center. “Ya had to be a lil’ bitch though, and try ta grab it!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s Ruri-chan’s limited edition, limited print, five hundred-thousand Grimm Nintendo switch I had specially pre-ordered from the human world two years in advance,” Levi had stopped running, and slowly stalked towards the two of you, a bloodthirsty gleam in his eyes. “I waited for-</span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking</span>
  </em>
  <span>-ever for that to arrive, and you ruined it </span>
  <em>
    <span>two hours</span>
  </em>
  <span> after I got it.” He leaned into a crouch, his tail flicking erratically behind him, as you and Mammon pressed yourselves against the door, your hands clutching the cake box to your chest. “Get ready to feel your head up your ass, noob.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“L-Levi, wait, we can buy another one,” you stammered out, elbowing Mammon. “O-or maybe it isn’t totally broken, and we can fix it!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Mammon wheezed as you elbowed him again, clearly not wanting to pay for jack shit, but nevertheless nodded. “Y-yeah, I’m sure it’s fine! Don’ worry ‘bout it!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi hissed, actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>hissed</span>
  </em>
  <span>, his tongue flicking out. “You disrespected Ruri-chan, and for that you must-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Is that the cake?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi suddenly flew into the wall, as Beelzebub shoved his way past him, eyes sparkling as he saw the cardboard box in your hands. Mammon took the opportunity to sprint away, heading towards the rooms. Levi, with a speed and fluidity you hadn’t known he possessed, recovered quickly, and sped off after him. As you watched them run, you felt warm, large hands cover yours where you were holding onto the box.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“This is the cake, right?” Beel asked, eyes peering desperately into yours. “Please tell me it’s the cake.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Y-yeah, this is the cake,” you stammered, recovering from whatever the hell just happened with Levi and Mammon, shaking his hands off yours as you moved further into the house. Beel followed like a loyal puppy, a line of drool falling from his mouth in anticipation. “Beel, what the hell happened?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Mammon broke Levi’s thing. Levi got mad. I got hungry, and Barbatos wasn’t here yet, so Bel was going to help me make a cake while we waited for you. When he realized he’d have to give Lucifer a piece he lit it on fire. Satan got mad at something and broke a couple chandeliers; dunno what about, wasn’t there. Diavolo challenged everyone to a drinking competition and-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He was interrupted as you got to the dining room and gasped. The flags hanging on the walls were still smoldering, burned into practically nothing. A few chairs had been smashed against the walls; turned into useless piles of wood. Several of the candle holders had been ripped out, leaving holes where they once were. The table cloth had been ripped off and everything on it had thrown everywhere, splatters and stains covering the walls and floor.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>At the table, sitting in the remaining chairs, was the rest of the party crew. Diavolo had a clear blush to his face, laughing with a glass in his hand as a clearly intoxicated Simeon had his head on the table while mumbling quietly (Luke had not come, scared by the last time he’d been in the House of Lamentation, but he’d surprisingly sent a thoughtful stationery set to Lucifer). Belphie was looking at his D.D.D. with a bored look on his face and Satan had a book in his hands, both clearly not having participated in the drinking challenge. Asmo, Solomon, Lucifer, and Barbatos were nowhere to be seen.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“D-Diavolo,” you choked out, not resisting as Beel grabbed the cake box from your hands and hurried towards the table. “What the fuck?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah Y/n, I hope the trip wasn’t too bad,” Diavolo laughed, swirling whatever concoction was in his glass merrily. “The party took a lively turn! Truly a splendid time!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“God will never forgive the sins committed here.” Simeon slurred, his eyes dazed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Where is everyone else?” You asked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bel spoke up, glancing up from his D.D.D. “Solomon and Asmo went off to commit some more blasphemous acts. Barbatos, who apparently strips when intoxicated-” you heard Diavolo snicker, “went with them. Lucifer’s drunk ass wandered off somewhere and-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You heard a gasp from behind you, before strong arms spun you around and pulled you into a familiar broad chest.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Look Lord Diavolo, my baby’s back!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Lucifer looked, in short, like a mess. He’d lost the jacket he normally draped around his shoulders, several of the buttons on his vest were undone, and his tie was untucked and haphazard around his neck. His normally perfectly coiffed hair was ruined, strands falling across his forehead, and his dark eyes were glazed as he smiled at you. His normal scent, already pretty strong, was overpowered by the scent of liquor.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You felt your brain come to a screeching halt as you processed his words. “W-what?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I was s-so worried,” Lucifer’s voice was higher than normal, almost whiney, as he pulled you tighter. “You were gone for so long love, and I missed you so much! Don’t leave me again, pleaseeee?” He brought his face down towards yours, rubbing his cheek against yours in a childish way, as you felt your face heat.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, look at that. How embarrassing for him. It would certainly be </span>
  <em>
    <span>unfortunate</span>
  </em>
  <span> if someone were to-” you took a peak over your shoulder and Bel already had his D.D.D.’s camera aimed towards the two of you. “record this.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Now, now, Bel, please. I’m sure Lucifer would be most displeased to see evidence of his unseemly behavior saved for all eternity. We shouldn’t do this to our dear brother.” Satan couldn’t have sounded less genuine if he tried. You saw the flash of Satan’s D.D.D. taking photos, though Lucifer hardly seemed to notice.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Y-you’re so beautiful, I can’t believe it sometimes,” Lucifer smiled, his blush deepening as he brought his hands up to squish your cheeks. “Shit, look at you. You’re like a work of art, or something. You know I love you, right?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You stood still as Lucifer’s normally eloquent vernacular disappeared from his drunken mind. Before you had a chance to figure out what the fuck you were supposed to do (how to handle a drunk, affectionate Lucifer was not in the school’s handbook), you were suddenly spun around to face the table again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Look at Y/n! Aren’t they the cutest?” Lucifer wrapped his arms around you in a back hug, humming as he rocked side to side with you. “This is the love of my life!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Belphie and Satan looked deliriously happy, like all their hopes and dreams had just been given to them on a silver platter. Their unnaturally gleeful expressions would have scared you, if you were not busy trying to stop Lucifer from kissing your neck in front of the group. Simeon’s face, raised from the table, had gone a worrying shade of red at the sight of Lucifer trailing kisses up towards your ear. You winced as you heard him hit his head hard on the table and mutter a small “ow”. Beel had a nervous look on his face, eyes darting between his ecstatic brothers and you and Lucifer as he shoveled cake into his mouth. Diavolo’s eyelids had lowered slightly and his smile turned more into a smirk.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Lucifer, come on, I think it’s time to go to bed,” you tried to grab his hands to drag him away, knowing he’d never forgive you if you did nothing to try to save his pride. He unfortunately stood firm, unmoved by your efforts. He hadn’t even heard you when you’d spoken, cooing like you were a cute animal when you tried to pull him with you towards the rooms.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Lucifer,” at Diavolo’s voice, Lucifer’s head shot up, blinking blearily. “What do you like about Y/n?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Lucifer immediately split into a wide grin while he paused, gathering his words. You glared at Diavolo, unable to say anything directly to the prince, while hoping your eyes conveyed your displeasure at his antics</span>
  <em>
    <span>.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Diavolo’s smirk widened a little, and he raised his eyebrows at you while leaning back in his chair.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I-I just love them so much. They’re my treasure. My light. I can’t believe they actually like me too.” Lucifer paused, pressing his forehead to the back of your head. “You're so pretty. Let’s get </span>
  <em>
    <span>married</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You gasped, shock stilling you as he raised his head to rest his chin on your shoulder as he grabbed your left hand and brought it to his lips. Bel and Satan laughed harder than you’d ever heard them before, Bel nearly falling out of his chair and Satan’s eyes tearing as he smacked the table. Beel’s mouth dropped, cake falling out in an unsightly manor. Diavolo looked ridiculously satisfied, tilting his head back as he ran his eyes over your forms.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“L-Luci-” you felt the wind leave you in a short exhale as Lucifer suddenly slumped over your shoulder, your legs trembling as you supported his weight. Diavolo quickly stood, and made his way over to you, clapping his hands.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It seems our dear Lucifer enjoyed his party more than we anticipated! Y/n, let’s help him back to his room so he can turn in for the evening. It appears as though the party has run its course for tonight.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Diavolo helped move one of Lucifer’s arms onto his shoulders so he could pull Lucifer’s weight towards himself. Lucifer grumbled, eyes closed and brows furrowed, as his other arm wrapped around you, drawing you into his other side before he relaxed again. You felt Diavolo’s arm closest to Lucifer’s body wrap around the back of Lucifer’s waist, his hand coming to rest on your back.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“However,” Diavolo’s eyes were suddenly on you, the intense gold shining as his head leaned closer to yours. His large hand spanning across your back suddenly felt extremely sensual, and you felt hot as his deep voice dropped lower. “Who’s to say the three of us can’t continue celebrating tomorrow night?”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this was meant to be a cute little birthday short and ended up being a little over four pages on word. i don't really know how that happened. i also had the "you was at the club" song stuck in my head while i was writing at least three of those pages.</p>
<p>hope y'all enjoyed this little birthday celebration for lucifer lol. i'm not going to apologize for my diavolo thirst jumping out at the end - he's too hot!! like damn!!</p>
<p>some songs i listened to while writing this (weirdly enough, i did not listen to "you was at the club"):<br/>"phenomenal" by rationale<br/>"stutter" by marianas trench<br/>"captain hook" by megan thee stallion</p>
<p>please stay safe and healthy, and thanks for reading! 💕💞</p></blockquote></div></div>
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